Thursday, July 8, 2004

Stories of women ....No representation in history!!

Women and Independence in 2005!! Stories that do not find representation in history books!
Act 1.
Rashmi was a bubbling young girl, a student of an engineering college, when I met her first. She lived with her mother and sister. The mother is employed in a nationalised bank. Rashmi lost her father two years ago. The mother and sister have boldly suffered this loss without craving for self-pity so much so that their relatives went to the extent of branding them arrogant! In a typical Indian family a women who loses her husband has to be subservient to the elderly …in laws! Rashmi and her mother are progressive enough not to be ruled by the conditioning of a typical Brahminical way of life. Education and exposure had taught them to look beyond the traditional lakshman rekhas!
Act 2
Rashmi finished her engineering and took to teaching, a passion she says. Infact she found that learning is more fun and interesting while teaching!
Like any young maiden she dreamt of a man in her life. She chose to marry Rakesh , an MBA and working in IBM. It was an arranged marriage.The wedding went off well……
Act 3
Rashmi was duly sent to her in laws house. She was thrilled to find that she had a separate room to share with her dear one ,upstairs …
There were other people in the house.. her fil mil, bil, sil, their two kids!
The first few days all seem to go well……
The first shock came with her monthly periods… she was supposed to observe it strictly for 4 days!The children in the house were not supposed to touch her.The little one was left roaming naked in case it went near her! The food was air dropped! She felt so! For the first time she was made to feel sorry for being a woman!
The second was the rule that no women in the house was supposed to eat until the men folk ate! The FIL spent 3 hours in his ritualistic pooja every day and have his first meal of the day at 11! The women waited! So did she!She fears the coming of the festival seasons which will leave her no choice but to have one meal a day! She surprisingly found co relation with the ritualistic chants and the choicest words he used to abuse farmers who came to see him. Both seemed meaningless! The FIL is a land lord.
The patriarchy is so revealing that she is not supposed to sit in the drawing room if the FIL is present there.
More frustrating is the rules being different for the daughter of the house and the DIL. If Rashmi happens to go out, on her return she is not supposed to enter the kitchen. While the daughter of the house does so!
It is nearly four months since Rashmi got married, and she is unable to fathom the happenings around her. She did not expect all these living conditions in a home where people had MBA degrees and brought home 5 figure salary.Her confidence in being a women is questioned wickedly!
Wasn’t Rashmi aware that marriage in an Indian set up is not to a person but to a family! The husband is a part of the whole and rarely thinks and acts like an individual! Girls who are brought up like Rashmi find it hard to cope with the irrational(?) orthodox living styles.
Will Rashmi conform! What choices does she have?

……………………………..

Leela is a postgraduate. She works as a permanent employee of a private aided college since 20 years. The college earned a good name and the management decided to increase the in take of students. To teach them it employed lecturers under the management quota, paying them a quarter of what people like Leela earn. Kalpana also a post graduate, came into the college as one of them to Leela’s department.
Leela found Kalpana very promising and appreciated her work.. As days went by Leela found Kalpana putting in more hours of work then her. But no increment was given to her! Kalpana needed the money she earned very badly and didn’t mind the exploitation! Where was she to get a job if she left this? Her husband was partly employed and Kalpana had to work to make both ends meet.
The management knowing her predicament did nothing but harass her. It boasted that they would get people like her to work for them for half of what they paid Kalpana.
Eight years passed. The condition became worse. Kalpana got to know that she was denied all increment as she did not act smart( dressed?) as the other who got regular increments. She knew she had to fold her hands before the MEN and ask for a raise.
Enough is enough . For her relief she found another local college who offered her a little more than what she used to earn. She quit the job and joined the new one! Kalpana made a tearful exit from the college she was so attached to. Leela was left speechless! Could she have done some thing to ease Kalpana’s condition? Could she have attempted to make the place a better one for women like Kalpana? Leela only knew better.The least she could do was to wish Kalpana a bright future .

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